The Sky At Night
by ChamberOfMySecrets
Summary: Lily liked the sky at night. She always liked to look up at the seemingly endless darkness that bore down on the earth with titan strength and count the stars; it was a good distraction. JP/LE


Lily liked the sky at night. She always liked to look up at the seemingly endless darkness that bore down on the earth with titan strength and count the stars; it was a good distraction. She also liked to sit outside and count the stars because somehow the chill of the night-time air seemed to make her forget. She would walk out into the courtyard by the main entrance to the Great Hall and sit on the edge of the fountain there. Sometimes she would look into the water of the fountain and watch her tears make ripples in the water. For a moment the reflection of the stars would be distorted by the tiny waves, and Lily would watch trying to remember to forget.

Tonight was particularly cold; the temperature had been dropping dramatically since the start of December. Snow had started gradually fluttering down each night, and tonight was no different. The delicate, vulnerable flakes were landing gently in the fiery auburn of Lily's hair, slowly spreading a chill across her limbs made ghostly pale by the moonlight. Lily sat, shivering but not really noticing, on her usual fountain edge looking up at the sky, because really, what else was there left to do?

_Mudblood. _

Lily could feel the hot tears begin to build, first in her throat and then burn the corners of her eyes. How was it that _one word_ could have so much of an affect on a strong, independent, intelligent girl like Lily Evans? She knew it was just a word and that there was no reality to it, it existed in the minds of elitist purebloods, not in hers. Yet, every time the word was directed at her it stabbed at her with unrelenting force.

_You're a mudlbood, Evans. Don't think you're anything more. _

"Stupid Avery" Lily whispered to herself as she swiped angrily at the tears falling from her eyes.

The cold wasn't helping tonight. It wasn't helping her forget the events of today. Today she had been outright humiliated in her Potions class by the Slytherins. They had kept charming her potion to turn into mud in her Cauldron, Slughorn had pointed the fact out in front of the entire class, perplexed, and unknowingly fuelled the fire. Then Avery had thought it would be a great idea to charm her Cauldron to pour that mud all over her.

She was Head Girl, a Gryffindor, and an Evans, she should be able to hold her own, but after relentless torment for the past weeks Lily was at her breaking point. With the war, Voldemort, Muggleborn racism and school Lily was as close as she had ever been to running away. Running away from it all.

"Lily?"

Her head snapped up. In front of her, standing there like this was totally normal, was James Potter. Jean clad with what looked like a warm coat and tartan scarf, hands in his pockets, his hair looking as though someone had combed it with a garden rake. On such a horrible night, her reaction to this sight was to laugh.

"Oh Merlin, James" Lily chuckled. "What are you doing out here?" At this question, James raised his eyebrows and let out an almost exasperated breath, which met the night's air visibly.

"Isn't that the question I should be asking you? Lily, you're out here in your pyjamas and slippers! In the snow!" James exclaimed, taking his hands out of his pockets to gesture at her appearance, which Lily now realised must have looked quite odd. Her oversized Beatles "Yellow Submarine" T-shirt, pyjama trousers and pink fluffy slippers- not the most attractive combination she'd ever worn in her almost eighteen years.

"Well, I wasn't expecting any company."

James sat down next to her on the fountain suddenly, and she looked at him. He smiled and said; "Yeah well you know me, Lily Evans stalker extraordinaire." He lightly shoved her with his shoulder and they laughed. It was undeniable to any around that the relationship between Lily Evans and James Potter had changed over the past months. Lily had become Head Girl and James has become Head Boy, spending time together was unavoidable. In Lily's eyes, James had gone from boy to man ever since the beginning of this year. He was chivalrous, conscientious, and kind; nothing was too much trouble. Whilst James had blossomed, Lily felt she had shrunk into herself. All of the relentless abuse she had received this year, which was above all she had ever experience, had simply reduced her to a shell of her former self. She loved school, she loved to do well and help others, but that was become increasingly difficult the more the Slytherin's and pureblood supporters made their feelings known at their Head Girl being a Muggleborn.

Insomnia had gradually taken hold, and Lily had found solace under the dark blanket of the immense sky- something that seemed to consume her entirely and there were a few precious moments when Lily could almost forget that anything else existed. Silence had elapsed between James and Lily, and Lily could sense James' eyes on her willing her to look at him, to tell him what she was feeling, to let go. Yet, she looked up at the stars and closed her eyes, knowing if she looked at the worried, beautiful human being beside her she may just fall into his arms.

Lily felt warmth enveloped her icy cold shoulders; she opened her eyes and looked down at herself. James had given her his coat, and Lily couldn't stop the smile that tugged at her lips.

"Thank you," she whispered, still unable to meet his eyes.

"Lily" the way in which he said her name, made Lily understand that James was here not just to give her his coat. She sighed. "Please-"

"Do you ever wonder why he does it?" Lily said finally looking at James to meet his eyes. A jagged breath tore through Lily's throat as her own green eyes connected with his molten hazel; her heart fluttered. James looked perplexed.

"Why who does what?"

"Why… why You-Know-Who kills Muggleborns?" James seemed to be processing her question as his eyes bore into hers, frowning. There was a silent moment, where the only noise was Lily's imagined sound of the stars twinkling like wind chimes.

"I suppose he's afraid." James stated, inching ever so slightly closer to her on the cool stone of the fountain's edge. "I mean everyone's afraid of what they feel threatened by or don't understand… Or perhaps he's jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Well, Muggleborn witches and wizards are known to be even more talented than purebloods or halfbloods; they can have greater magical abilities. I mean look at you- you're an exceptional witch, everyone knows that." James smiled, and Lily couldn't help but smile back.

"Why are you so nice to me James?" James smile instantly dropped, but Lily carried on. "I've said so many mean things to you, yet you still are so nice to me now."

"To be honest Lily," James started, his voice noticeably more hoarse. "I was a massive idiot, I've been really inconsiderate towards you for the last five years. It was only last year I realised that you might like me a bit more if I started acting a little less like an arrogant arse and more like a guy Lily Evans would want to go out with." Lily was shaking; she had never heard James speak about this before. He had turned away from her and was looking at his hands, which were clasping and unclasping nervously. She couldn't take her gaze away form his chiselled profile. "I suppose I've always been like I am now, on the inside anyway. I just didn't know how to… Oh I don't know." He sounded so innocent, so honest, so beautiful.

Lily's affection of James had been growing rapidly since the beginning of this year and she could deny it no longer. She was falling for James Potter. The irony of it was immense, but it was real and Lily had no idea what to do.

Then, very suddenly and all at once, she knew.

"Thank you for coming out here and finding me James."

"I-"

"No really." Lily sighed, and pushed her hair behind her ear. "The truth is I come out here almost every night. I-" the words caught in her throat, her stubborn streak inside her still ever so slightly holding her back. _No. _A chord snapped inside her and she Lily let go.

"_I'm sick of this! _I am sick of trying my hardest to prove myself and still being treated like I'm dirt. I come out here at night because I can't sleep. I can't get these awful thoughts out of my head that maybe their right, maybe I am just a _mudblood."_ James twitched beside her, but the words kept running out of Lily's mouth. "I just want to feel like I belong. I just want to feel accepted, is that really too much to ask? Is it really too much to ask to feel like people want me to be part of their world? Is it too much to ask to be able to be part of _my own_ world?! I can't stand this anymore, I-I-" Then, Lily burst into tears. A tsunami of emotion had tore down her defences, she was shaking, no longer for the cold but for her rage, her sadness. She hung her heads in her hands and wept.

"Oh God, James" She spluttered, barely coherent. "I don't know what to do."

"Lily" James whispered, and she slowly looked up at him, sniffing. His eyes glinted, as he looked down at her. Then, he held his arms out. A simple gesture but one that made all of Lily's emotions swell inside her.

She let out a pitiful sob before practically falling into his outstretched arms. He felt strong, he felt warm and his arm encircled her like what felt like a lifeline. She cried into him, listening to his heart beating wildly under his chest. Lily could feel his body encompassing her; it was as if her rage and sadness was melting away. She felt one of his hands on the small of her back and the other threaded through the hair that fell over the back of her neck. Instinctively, she drew closer into him, her arms threading around his torso feeling the wool of his jumper. Lily felt James suck in a breath, and his grip on her tighten. She realised she had stopped crying, and now all that was left was their breaths. Even though it was a cold December night, Lily hadn't been so warm before.

Almost painfully, Lily pulled herself away from James chest and sat up in his arms. She was aware of how she must look, red and puffy eyes, hair a knotty mess, with tear streaks painted on her cheeks, but yet she was unable to move her hands from his shoulders. She needed to feel him there, as if he would disappear if she let go.

"I'm sorry." She whispered; her voice strained from crying.

"Don't apologise" James said, his own voice hoarse and low. His hazel eyes were again burning into her emerald ones. "I wish I… I wish…" He sighed. "Tell me how to help you, please." And he was pleading, she could see it in his face, she could feel it in his embrace. She was suddenly overwhelmed with love; how could she not have seen the love in this man? He was no longer that silly little third year who liked to hex her hair green because he was too afraid to speak to her properly. He was James Potter, kind and loving, caring and passionate. He was the man she loved.

Lily paused. For a second, it was only themselves and the night, and then she kissed him.

_Oh God. _Lights were exploded behind Lily's eyelids as their lips connected. James' shock radiated off him but Lily was almost unaware, as she weakened under the softness of his lips. Then, all in one moment, something switched in James. Suddenly, is hand were on her cheeks, they were hot, just as hot as his lips. The cold around them dissipated, it might as well have only been them in the vast expanse of the universe. Tongues touched, as Lily's hands slowly drifted over James' chest to finally settle at his neck. His moved to her waist, where he pulled her even closer to him. Lily revelled in the soft hair she found at the back of his neck, threading her fingers through and scratching lightly. Time slowed, how long they had kissed for Lily could not tell, but they both pulled away breathing heavily. Lily leant forward to rest her forehead on James', and neither said anything. Until, "Lily", completely breathless, James caught her chin in his gentle hand and looked at her. "You know how I feel, everyone does. I just want… I want you. I always have, but do you… do you-"

"James, I love you." She saw his eyes widen, "Ever since the beginning of this year I have. But I haven't been able to… I haven't…" she sighed. "I wanted to tell you, but I… I just couldn't." Lily pulled away from James' forehead to look down into her lap, embarrassed.

"I can't imagine what it must feel like" he said, almost inaudibly while his hands seemed to tighten on her waist. "But I promise I'll always be here for you. _I love you _Lily."

She had never heard him say it sincerely before this moment. He had said it many times before, just as a joke or an expression of gratitude for helping him with homework, but not like this.

Then before she knew it, he was kissing her again. It was faster this time; it felt like a roller-coaster rather than a slow, tentative first bike ride like before. Both knew what the other wanted. The kiss was like a seal, a seal on them, together. Whatever this was, right now between them, it was real and powerful.

And they sat there, on the edge of the fountain, kissing. It may have been for hours, it may have been for minutes, but for the first time Lily felt as if she didn't need to worry. She no longer needed to the cold, night and its never-ending cascade of stars to distract her.

She had something so much better than that.

She had James.

And really, and truly, he was all she needed.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed that! I enjoyed writing it. I know it's pretty simple, but I thought it might be a nice start to my account. Reviews would be awesome, and if I get enough requests I'll write this from James' P.O.V. Thank you! **


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